Aww, don’t we all love that movie? Beautiful cheap hooker who really, deep down, just wants to find a nice guy and settle down, and she does! And he’s rich! And he’s Richard Gere! What’s not to love? Could that ever happen in real life? Get real.
Photo by ComeIlMare
Sometimes love just goes too far. A good recent example is that astronaut arrested in Florida for driving from Texas to kill her obsession’s new girlfriend. Wearing a diaper to cut down on stops. Think about that for a minute. She had to sustain that level of crazy for nearly two days. At some point, wouldn’t you have thought “hey, maybe this is a bad idea”? Or even “Wow, dirty diapers are kind of unpleasant”…evidently, she did not. That, my friends is a finely tuned obsession, with a large soupcon of crazy thrown in for flavor.
Into every relationship, some rain must fall. We all fight (some of us more than others). How you fight can determine whether it will eventually end your relationship. There’s an art to a good argument. Just remember that you love (or like, or lust after, whatever) this person and you don’t want the relationship to end. Here’s what not to do during an argument:
Google “romantic gestures” and you find a whole lot of ideas that would impress the heck out of 13 year old girls, Victorian ladies, and starry-eyed, attention-starved older women addicted to sappy romance novels. The real women I know need a more updated approach. Furthermore, is any real guy going to indulge his lady in a “week of poetry”? No takers? How about calling her several times a day? That would drive me completely insane. So how about we scrap the muttonchop approach, shelve Lord Byron, and get down to the brass tacks of some modern romance?
Furries in general have gotten a bad rap. Shows like CSI, The Man Show, and ER have depicted them as sexual fetishists, when in reality they are just normal people who obsess over fur. Not luxurious sable coats, but the kind that imitates cartoon characters. Nothing freaky about that. No, sir.
Nothing is sexier than self-confidence. Most people have confidence problems, but anyone, regardless of looks, wealth, or weight, can be self-confident. The first thing you have to do is STOP comparing yourself to other people. You are unique. You don’t have to look like a movie star or be as charismatic as a politician, as rich as the Donald, or as cool as a rock star. Just be yourself and like it, and other people will like it, too. Nearly everyone has some quality about them that some people will find appealing. The least important thing is your looks, so forget that and concentrate on what really matters.
You’ve served her a nice dinner and are ready to settle in for a movie. The question on your mind right now is, “Am I getting any tonight?” The answer might be easier to predict than you think. Movie choice says a lot about state of mind. Hit the video store and rent 3 movies, one each from category A, B, and C. Then let her choose what to watch and react accordingly. One romance rule to live by: always serve chocolate.
A. Cuddle Time
These are safe, non-threatening chick flicks. She wants romance, so be attentive, but don’t count on anything more than sweet kisses tonight. Let her control the escalation; she might surprise you. Serve hot chocolate spiked with Amaretto or Frangelico and decadent cheesecake in bite-sized pieces.
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So you walk in on your guy modeling your new dress. After you’re done yelling about how he stretched out the shoulders and it will never fit you again, what now? Do you dump him and run screaming for the nearest fire station in search of a brawny he-man? I guess the answer to that comes down to: Do you love him enough to put up with a little weirdness? Let’s face it, guys who will wear girl duds are definitely in touch with their feminine side. Gay guys are a blast, right? Maybe a straight guy in girl’s clothing is the perfect man. Personally, I’d stick around long enough to find out, unless I was already looking for an excuse to dump him.
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Real romance isn’t in the big things. It’s in the tiny day-to-day reminders of love and attention. Unless money is really no object, spending major bucks on a skywriter to splash your love across the sky is more likely to get a guttural response of “Exactly how much did that cost?” than “You are the most wonderful man alive.” Women want to feel special, but they are practical creatures at heart. If you’re going to drop large coin, make it a memorable weekend trip or a nice piece of jewelry.
Everybody else is doing it: the automobile industry, the banking industry…so why not the porn industry? At least that’s what Hustler magazine magnate Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis reason. TMZ recently reported that the porn powerhouse duo is off to Washington to petition Congress for a hefty $5 billion in bailout funding to rescue the ailing adult entertainment industry. They claim that the failing economy has reduced triple-X DVD sales by 22% from last year’s sales figures, and they figure porn deserves at least the same consideration as automobile manufacturers.
