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I just finished looking through my boyfriend’s box of photographs. What a terrible idea that was. Besides the random party shots, family photographs, and the ever-so-embarrassing wallet sized school pictures, in this box I found pictures of the ex.
Photo By: Nils Geylen
No, I didn’t immediately shred the photographs to pieces (thought about it). I studied them. Not because I didn’t know what my boyfriend’s ex looked like – I knew her. In fact, I had even been on a friendly “acquaintance” level with the girl. I studied the pictures because I asked myself, “What the hell was my boyfriend thinking?!” It sounds harsh, I know. And I’m not saying that I’m the catch of the century. But what I do know is, my boyfriend could have done a lot better.
It happens a lot, I’m sure. We have all dated someone in our past who probably seemed a lot more charming and better looking when we were under the influence. (For me, this was a trend that continued for a couple of years.) I’m by no means saying I’m a superficial person. I’m sure my boyfriend’s ex was a nice girl, and the reason he stuck with her for 4 years was because she was genuine and faithful and blah blah blah…But honestly, looking at the pictures made me realize how much better my boyfriend could do. (And by that, I mean me, ha!) His ex girlfriend lacked style. She could have used a make over. Her personality reminded me of my Grandmother during church. And to top it off, she treated my boyfriend like crap. She complained, she whined, she threw fits when he didn’t cater to her ever whim…
Photo By: Simplified Complications
I always ask my boyfriend what kept him with his ex girlfriend for so long. Four years is a long time to be in a committed relationship with someone. Did he really love her? Or did he just have low self esteem? At this point in his life, he doesn’t even want to be friends with his ex girlfriend. He says she never made him truly happy.
While I know relationships end for a reason, and an ex should remain a thing of the past, I can’t help but use my boyfriend’s previous relationship as a guide of sorts. I know where things went wrong in their time spent together, and I now know what I can do to ensure I don’t follow down the same path. Every relationship we experience is truly a learning experience. From my personal failed attempts at love, I know not to make the same dumb mistakes twice…or three times, if I’m having a lonely streak. What made you stick around with the ex you would rather forget? Were you lonely? Did you not know any better? Did your previously bad relationships help to build better ones down the line?
