Finding Your Inner Sexy
January 15th, 2009 by admin
Nothing is sexier than self-confidence. Most people have confidence problems, but anyone, regardless of looks, wealth, or weight, can be self-confident. The first thing you have to do is STOP comparing yourself to other people. You are unique. You don’t have to look like a movie star or be as charismatic as a politician, as rich as the Donald, or as cool as a rock star. Just be yourself and like it, and other people will like it, too. Nearly everyone has some quality about them that some people will find appealing. The least important thing is your looks, so forget that and concentrate on what really matters.
I hear people complain about themselves all the time. Come ON, people! If you don’t like something about yourself, CHANGE IT. We are creatures of constant change. Consider your basic elements. You have character. Is it good character? Do you like your ethics, your beliefs, your level of commitment? Do you approve of yourself? If not, simply reinvent yourself. Overcome your baser instincts and start doing the right thing. A step in the right direction might be to take up a cause, or volunteer for charity work. Helping others benefits them, but it also gives you a purpose and a reason to feel good about yourself. Never brag about it, though–that’s a huge turnoff. Trust me on this, you need to be someone you would admire. Figure out what your best qualities are and build on them. No self-depreciating whininess. I don’t even want to hear it.
Interesting is sexy. Make yourself interesting. It’s fairly easy to do this, but you have to break out of your comfort zone and learn about new things. Not just one thing – everything. Catch up on the news, read books, watch movies, and learn about what’s going on in the world. The more you know, the better you can fit into a conversation. Conversations tend to switch gears, especially when there are groups of people. The better you’re able to keep up, the more interesting you will seem. But be careful about dominating the conversation…the last thing you want to be is a bore. Let other people speak, argue a point only when you really know the subject, and never condescend. Try not to, anyway. It’s hard when you’re talking to stupid people, but do your best.
Never underestimate the power of the basics. A simple smile is more powerful than you can imagine. Consider how catching sight of a smile can lift your mood, even if it is not directed at you. Try it. Lift your head, look people in the eye, and smile. Try to avoid looking crazy, just go for natural. You don’t have to show all 32 teeth, just soften your expression and try to look happy. Most people will smile back, and you will walk away feeling just a little happier. It’s exponential, the more you smile and get return smiles, the happier you are. Happy is sexy.
Courtesy is sexy. Another basic is simple human courtesy. Open doors for people. Offer your seat on public transportation to people who need it more. Don’t scream out the window in traffic. Class is so rare these days that it’s noticeable and appreciated.
One last piece of advice, and listen up, because this is important: Eagerness is the anti-sex. Don’t be that person that insists on helping in order to curry favor or gain admittance. Be a rock, not an avalanche. Dependable, not insistent. Knowledgeable, not know-it-all. Conversational, not overbearing.
So what’s all this got to do with getting you dates? These simple things, practiced every day, build your confidence and make you more charismatic, and as a result, more attractive. Forget your looks or any other things that you might criticize about yourself and use to sap your confidence. Do things that brighten your day and make you feel smarter, better, and more in control. If you see it, others will see it. If you build it, they will come 
