From My Perspective – Official DateHookup Blog

I was perusing the DateHookup forum today and came across multiple posts by users involved in “friends with benefits” situations. If you are unaware of what this term refers to, let me fill you in. A friend with benefits is pretty much one step up from a booty call. They are someone you call up for a good time, but for whatever reason are not your boyfriend or girlfriend. This may be because they just don’t fit the criteria or it could be because neither of you are looking for anything serious. Ideally, a friend with benefits should be a friend. They should treat you with respect and vice versa. You get many of the fun aspects of having a relationships, i.e. sex and companionship, with no strings attached. Does it sound too good to be true? That’s because it is.

Photo By Duchessa

I’m not saying that these kinds of relationships never work out, but a friends with benefits situation can EASILY go sour quickly, as many DateHookup users have found out.  In my experience (personally and through keen observation), one person usually ends up feeling slighted and wanting to break the original agreement. For a lot of people, distinguishing between just sex and sex and romance and sex and friendship is just too difficult. It’s very difficult to leave emotions out of sexual relationships.

A friend of mine was involved in a “friends with benefits” situation after going through a painful break up. At first, things were working out great. They would call each other, mostly late at night or on weekends after they had left the bar and their other friends. They both enjoyed the sex and each other’s company. However, after awhile, he began sharing his feelings for her. He never acted on those feelings though which left her confused and looking for someone who would be able to offer her more. I was once in a similar situation myself, and after a few months of the “friend’s with benefits” thing, I was over it. It got to a point where I wanted more because I had grown attached to my “friend” in a different way then I had been before. We got along great and the sex was great, and it got to a point where it just seemed silly to not be together.

Of course, there are exceptions, and if it works for you and your “friend”, and you’re both happy with the situation then that’s great! Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Tags: dating, friends with benefits, good friends

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 16th, 2009 at 4:58 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.