How to Tell if You’re Getting Lucky Tonight
January 14th, 2009 by adminYou’ve served her a nice dinner and are ready to settle in for a movie. The question on your mind right now is, “Am I getting any tonight?” The answer might be easier to predict than you think. Movie choice says a lot about state of mind. Hit the video store and rent 3 movies, one each from category A, B, and C. Then let her choose what to watch and react accordingly. One romance rule to live by: always serve chocolate.
A. Cuddle Time
These are safe, non-threatening chick flicks. She wants romance, so be attentive, but don’t count on anything more than sweet kisses tonight. Let her control the escalation; she might surprise you. Serve hot chocolate spiked with Amaretto or Frangelico and decadent cheesecake in bite-sized pieces.
- Serendipity - Possibly the chickiest chick flick of all time. Hopelessly romantic.
- While You Were Sleeping – a little twisted romantic comedy with Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman.
- City of Angels - Sad, sweet, romantic and more than a little creepy. Break out the tissues and prepare to snuggle.
- Breakfast at Tiffany’s – If she’s picks this classic, you get major bonus points for offering it. Audrey Hepburn is the most lovable prostitute ever. It’s a little tragic, but sweet and romantic at the same time.
- Notting Hill – Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts define non-threatening romance.
- Moulin Rouge – Quirky and a little offbeat, but definitely romantic.
B. Sweet Romance
Your chances for action are good, but don’t go for the gold. Start with cuddling and work your way up from there. Snack on wine or beer with cheese, grapes, and imported chocolates.
- How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days or Fool’s Gold – Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey together are way off the adorable scale.
- Ghost – A little unusual since the love interest dies in the first scene, but still some smokin’ romance.
- Pretty Woman – Classic “hooker with a heart of gold finds her prince” movie. (Note: it amuses me to no end that Amazon.com lists the stars of this movie as Jason Alexander and Bill Applebaum)
- Practical Magic – Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman starring as witches in search of love. Great stuff.
- Love, Actually – Ok, usually any bumbling Hugh Grant movie would go straight into the A category, but this one is kinda hot.
- An Officer and a Gentleman – Seriously, what woman doesn’t love a man in uniform? Sing it with me: “Love lift us up where we beloooong…Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high…” You know the words, don’t try to deny it.
C. Come and get me, big boy…
if she chooses one of these, it’s game ON! Fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a bumpy night. Make a pitcher of frozen margaritas and fire up the fondue pot for chocolate-dipped strawberries and kiwi fruits. You might even get some warm chocolate moments to remember…
- Mr. and Mrs. Smith – Not your typical romance, but it’s Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt! Rolling on the floor sex, sarcastic humor delivered with Jolie’s signature sneer, plus gunplay.
- Top Gun – Tom Cruise really had to be on this list somewhere, and this one has a slammed-against-the-wall kiss that will make her knees weak.
- Dirty Dancing – Oh, yes. The panties are coming off.
- Original Sin – Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie on screen naked. What else is there? Oh, right: Obsession. Lies. Desire. Lust…Get the unrated version.
- Dangerous Beauty – This movie is sizzlin’ hot! Catherine McCormack stars as a young woman in 1600′s Venice who follows in her mother’s footsteps to become courtesan.
- Lie with Me – Nothing ambiguous about this one, if the title doesn’t give away the plot, the cover image certainly will.
I can’t guarantee that this method will work, I’m sure there are a few ladies out there who get steamed up over a Meg Ryan romance, and a few who just want to watch an action flick like Mr. & Mrs. Smith. But it doesn’t really matter, as long as you let her choice dictate your actions. If she starts getting randy, you’ll be the first to know – that I guarantee, assuming you’re the only one there…and if you’ve invited her for a night of romance and there are other people there, you should be renting from a different video store.
Now, if she rejects all of these in favor of the latest blockbuster on pay-per-view…break out the popcorn and use your best judgment. You could always resort to the old “stretch and drape” arm trick from middle school.
