From My Perspective – Official DateHookup Blog

A few years ago, I hooked up with a celebrity online, a bonafide rock star. It was just a chance meeting, he was trolling a forum where I hang out and we started to chat, and it was like a lightning bolt of pure attraction. Before long we were chatting all day every day. He didn’t say who he was at first, and when he told me, I did not believe him, but since I liked him so much I pretended to. Eventually, I did become convinced he was who he claimed to be, because he began to mention things we’d discuss on his blog and even during an online radio interview he’d asked me to tune into.

Credit: djrue (Flickr)

Anyway, who he is doesn’t matter. What does matter is the thought process it spurred. I had quite an advantage over the usual online relationship. Since he was a celeb, there were stories and pictures and media coverage of everything he ever did, so I knew exactly who he was. He only knew what I told him about myself, and what he could gather from the forum of my friends.

Occasionally, I meet people online, both men and women, who just get me. My snarky sense of humor, my eclectic interests, my whole irreverent personality just fits with theirs. This rocker was one of those people. He was going through a rough patch in his life. His marriage was headed for the rocks, his career was stalled, and he was bored to death. He’d become practically a recluse in comparison to his normal life. He needed someone to talk to honestly who was unaffected by his celebrity and reminded him that he was a fun person; I was a good choice. We made each other laugh, were silly and outrageous, and discussed serious things. There was no cybersex, I don’t do that sort of thing, but we flirted a lot. Eventually, his life got busy again and we reluctantly said goodbye. He divorced his amazingly beautiful celebrity wife, got involved in new music and television projects and no longer has time for chatting online…and maybe didn’t need to anymore.

My friends were worried about me when he left. They knew how close we’d become and worried that my emotional attraction had become too strong, that I’d fallen in love. So I explained the reality I had already considered. I loved him online, but I would not love him in person. Just for starters, he is a chain-smoker and I’m allergic to cigarette smoke. He’s an attention junkie, and I prefer to remain unmolested by paparazzi, thanks, but no thanks. He’s also incredibly narcissistic and needy; when we talked about life, it was all about him, he never asked about mine and I didn’t volunteer, although I did offer a little background. I didn’t mind, but that level of self-absorption would drive me crazy on a day-to-day basis. Besides, I would not do well in a comparison of the string of barely legal silicon babes he’s been associated with and married to. His hedonistic lifestyle, overall, would simply not work for me. I considered this very early in the relationship and decided that it was a good thing we lived thousands of miles apart. I was a little sad that he wasn’t going to be around to entertain me…and a little relieved that he had not become too attached. Reality would not have worked for us, and I think we both knew it.

What I’m trying to say is that online personality is pure, but the person you fall in love with might not be someone you could live with in real life, so be very careful. I have seen disasters happen. I had a friend who walked away from a boring marriage for a web-born relationship. She left her husband of many years and two boys to live with another woman she’d fallen for online. There was only one problem. The other woman was gay. Turned out, my friend was not. Her attraction to his person was so strong, she convinced herself that she was, becoming convinced that her lack of enthusiasm for her husband was, in reality, a gender issue. She left her job, her family , her kids…and the grass was definitely not greener on the other side. Her life wound up in shambles when the reality hit the fan.

He still emails me once in a while. But when his band came through here on tour, I elected not to go. I’m pretty sure it would be awkward and might even kill the wonderful relationship we already have. I like things the way they are…and I am not looking for a prince – or princess -  to rescue me from my life. If I ever need rescuing, I will knot my own bedsheet and toss it out the window.

What about you? Ever had an online relationship that turned out to be completely different in real life than what you expected?

Tags: celbrity hookups, Dates

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 14th, 2009 at 7:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.