Pretty Woman
January 28th, 2009 by adminAww, don’t we all love that movie? Beautiful cheap hooker who really, deep down, just wants to find a nice guy and settle down, and she does! And he’s rich! And he’s Richard Gere! What’s not to love? Could that ever happen in real life? Get real.
Photo by ComeIlMare
Here’s the thing about guys who go looking for hookers. They like hookers. Once upon a time, after work I went to this super-casual sports bar wearing a skimpy tank top with the name of a topless bar called the Crazy Horse emblazoned across the front. The Crazy Horse had two sides, featuring male and female strippers, and I’d gone to see the male strippers for a bachelorette party and won a shirt in some random contest. It was actually a pretty cool tank, made me look very curvy and luscious. Anyway, I met this guy and we hit it off and started dating. A week later, he dumped me and I was mystified. Until I started seeing him around town with other women, each sleazier than the next. The truth suddenly hit me: he liked sleazy. He was attracted to me because he assumed I was a stripper, or possibly just a sleazebag. When he found out that I was, in fact, a responsible, over-achieving college student with a full time job to boot…well, that didn’t interest him in the least, regardless of the memory of my boobs swelling impressively from the skimpy tank.
What I’m trying to say is that first impressions are extremely important in the dating world. Giving a false impression is guaranteed relationship fail. The only way to begin an successful relationship is to begin honestly. I can’t stress it enough: be yourself.
It bugs me a little that it took him a few days to catch on…he couldn’t see past the boobs to the brain? The heart? The inherent natural charm?? It bothers me even more that I couldn’t win him over from the dark side, because he really was a fun guy, and he had the coolest dog ever. I was totally worth it. His loss. I like to imagine him married to an aging hooker with an advanced case of syphilis.
Have you had any ex-boyfriends like this?
