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I’ll admit I was a bit skeptical when I first created my dating profile. I wasn’t sure how comfortable I felt putting all of my cards out on the table for any old person to see. Would some creep download my photo and create some kind of weird Silence of the Lambs-style shrine to me? Would some jilted date be able to put the pieces of my life together and find out where I live? And perhaps most troubling to me was: what if I do meet the man of my dreams online? What ever will I tell our children? “Well, honey, mommy couldn’t find a date, so she began scouring the Internet for someone to love her…”
Photo by Fura
But in the age of up-to-the-minute Twitter updates and Facebook romances, what’s wrong with looking online for love? I already have a couple of online friends, what’s the difference in looking for a date? I trust the dating site I use, and I’m up for something new. Besides, a dating site is a much better place to meet a potential mate than that dark, seedy bar where every guy is looking to score with a lonely chick.
Whether this is your first foray into online dating or you’re just trying a new site, online dating is exciting and a little nerve-wracking. Where else are you going to have so many potential suitors at your disposal? While online dating is a great way to meet new people and, dare I say it, your potential paramour, you should also be careful.
- Don’t put too much info into your profile. Sure, you can include how you love long walks on the beach, the smell of puppies, and your unabashed appreciation for the music of the Jonas Brothers (though no promises on who will contact you if you put that in), but leave out any clues about where you live, work or any places you frequent. You want to attract a suitor, not a stalker.
- Choose your profile wording carefully. Along the same lines, the wording of your profile could make a big difference in the type of potential dates you attract. If you’re into gardening, writing “I enjoy caring for the flowers in my backyard garden” means something much different than “I don’t mind getting dirty ;)”.
- Separate your online dating life from your real life. Use a different email address and, if you’ll be chatting on the phone, a different phone number. Just in case things turn sour, you don’t want all of your means of personal communication out in the open.
- Trust your gut. This is the most important tip. If it feels wrong, or creepy, or just not right, it probably isn’t.
- Be honest. In the end, this is for your own emotional safety. If you say you’re 5’10”, 110 pounds and gorgeous, you better be Gisele’s twin sister or I’m pretty sure you’re going to have some angry daters. Same goes for your interests and goals in life. You’re looking for someone that likes the real you, not what you think people will like.
- Ask for a recent photo. That Brad Pitt look-alike might now be 50, fat and balding. A mental and emotional connection is key, but if you’re not attracted to the person, the relationship probably isn’t going anywhere.
- Don’t rush into things. Sure, you may be eager to meet your new cyber hottie, but taking it slow pays off in the end. If the person is really into you, they’ll be willing to hold of on meeting you.
- Be realistic. Joining an online dating site gives you access to a lot of fresh meat, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to meet your soul mate. Online dating is essentially no different than regular dating; there are bad dates, missed connections, and dead ends. Just because you click with someone online (pun intended) doesn’t mean you’ll end up marrying them.
- Keep geography in mind. One of the first guys who contacted me turned out to be a really awesome guy. Cute, the right age, and totally into the same things I was. Unfortunately, after talking with him for a couple weeks, I realized he lived in a small town about 2,000 miles away. Bummer. If you’re willing to do the long-distance thing, great, but if you’re not, take a look before you fall for the person.
- Prepare before you meet your date in person. Meet in a public place where there are lots of people around, and be sure to tell several friends when and where you will be. It may seem silly to take such precautions, but you just never know.
Do you have any other safety tips of advice for your fellow online daters?
